I got pulled over today! Oh how I wish I could tell you I was the model citizen and did nothing wrong. Unfortunately, I did. I was speeding. Then to top it all off when the officer asked me why I was speeding I couldn’t even think of a good answer right away so what did I say?
“Because I was in a hurry.”
Yep, that was my brilliant answer! I wish you could have seen the look on his face. Poor kid must have thought I had lost my mind. I’m sure he was thinking, “Here you go ma’am, a chance to explain yourself and give some lofty answer of a crisis that needs your attention NOW! But, no, you just spit out the ugly truth.”
You see, I have prayed for deliverance from the sins that tripped me up for so many years. Not only has God delivered me He has made me extra sensitive to them now.
One of the biggies for me used to be…lying. Eek, I’m so sorry if I have just offended every high regard you’ve ever had for me. It’s true though and if nothing else I have to be honest. You see in high school, and probably even before, I learned to lie as a survival mechanism.
It started out as me telling the truth and no one believing me. Then it switched to telling people what they wanted to hear to avoid repercussions.
Quickly, I learned I was pretty darned good at it.
Let me tell you, it’s not something I’m proud of now. But, it’s also something I refuse to be held down in condemnation by either. The Lord convicted me of it a LONG time ago and He and I have dealt with it.
As we walked through that valley together, I prayed He would make me so sensitive to my sin I would be able to spot it coming a mile away! He did that in abundance.
I’ve been asked before why I’m so sensitive to certain things such as cursing. You guessed it, I asked God to make that one like fingernails on a chalkboard to me as I’d become so numb to it. I’m not sure you want to know this much truth from a Christian writer but I used to throw the “F” word around more than most sailors.
I remember crying out to God as those old habits kept creeping up in my life and feeling powerless against them. Not even recognizing them until after the fact due to how numb I’d become to them.
Then, I gave up.
I said, “Here they are God – I’m tired of trying so hard to be good. There’s no way I can do this on my own, I’ve tried. Do what you will in my life. Have your way with me. Please make me so sensitive to these sins that I have no choice but to recognize them and turn from them.”
The more I humbled myself before the Lord the more He lifted me up. I finally felt free of the condemnation of my sins and ready to move forward.
[Tweet “Every step of faith we take brings us closer to the freedom He is always offering!”]
I’m so far from perfect and I’ll be the first to admit it. But you know what? It’s okay. I’m so grateful for the sensitivity to the Holy Spirit I’ve discovered. I know whatever new things the enemy throws at me now, God’s got me!
In case you’re struggling with this fact I want to remind you. God’s got you! Repeat it often to yourself. He has your back!
[Tweet “God’s not waiting for perfection. He’s encouraging progression!”]
Now it’s your turn. In what ways are you progressing in your walk with the Lord? Are there old sins trying to creep back up in your life? Leave a comment and let’s hold each other up in prayer!
I’m sharing this post with several other blogger’s at these Faith Linkups. I encourage you to check them out. If this post resonates with you and feel it would help others please feel free to share. Easy to share buttons below. ~Laura~
Ah yes… the old sins… our old ways of surviving… so good! For me, I can tell I have gotten a bit lazy again lately and have been entertaining my old lack of follow through! Time to get back at it… without beating myself up and yet kicking it back into gear!
I have areas where I still struggle quite a bit. No beating ourselves up though right Karrilee, just moving forward. Thanks for coming by! Blessings.
So blessed by your sweet honesty and encouragement! Thanks for the reminder – God has got my back!
Thanks so much for the encouragement!
You have the absolute right key here… humility. Most of us live lives of constantly trying to lift ourselves up… above our sins, above our failings, above our poor self images, above our malformed beliefs about ourselves… but that never works. we fail over and over and get worn out from trying… but God never calls us to do that. He says (as you reminded us) that when we humble ourselves before Him, then HE will do the lifting! thanks!
So grateful HE does the lifting! Praise the Lord. Thanks for encouragement. Blessings.
The humility of a besetting sin! Ack!
I do have a tendency to “play” with the same old patterns. Your post reminds me that this is a matter that requires my attention. Thank you!
I keep giving it to Him as I know the enemy would love to use those old sins and habits to steer me off track again. Thanks so much for stopping by.
“Have your way with me.” Laura, you’re wise to offer those words, and you’re brave to share a very real life struggle and how majestic our God can be in the midst. No judgement here; we all have our “stuff”. You go, girl! #goJesus Visiting via #heartencouragement Thursday
I keep thinking it will get easier to share my own struggles but so far it’s still a challenge. I just choose to be obedient and then hang on to Him for dear life as I wade out into the deep waters. Thanks so much for your encouragement Kristi!
This is so true. The moment we think we wouldn’t do something or that we have been forever cured of that behavior, we are susceptible to it. It is through prayer and staying aware that we make it through each day. Love your vulnerability here!
Thank you Sarah! We have to stay aware and on guard.
Laura, I appreciated this post so much!
When I first became a believer, one of the sins the Lord instantly took away from me was swearing, especially using the Lord’s name in vain.
Thankfully, I have never returned to using the Lord’s name in vein, but too often, in anger, when I’m alone, I find myself swearing. This upsets me so much that I can so easily fall back into that again, and I am certainly not proud of it. I can hear Satan saying in my ear, “Some Pastor’s wife you are!”.
Your post gave me so much hope and encouragement, especially when you said, “As we walked through that valley together, I prayed He would make me so sensitive to my sin I would be able to spot it coming a mile away! He did that in abundance.”
I have asked Him to help me with my besetting sins, but your approach for praying about such things seems powerful!
Thank you so much for this post. I really needed this!
Ka ren, I get it on how easy it is to fall back in and then the enemy to use condemnation against us. I lead youth group and every time I slip up satan tries the same thing with me. I have decided to embrace the strong willed side of me when it comes to standing up to him. No more shame! I choose to quickly repent and cling to Jesus to get me headed in the right direction again. I’m so glad this post helped. God bless you!
PS – my mom is a pastor’s wife (my dad became a pastor when he was 60) and I have huge respect for those of you in that role. Praying for you!
I had issues with lying too. Now I am praying God helps me to be honest and not tell people I can do things to help them (because I really want to) but deep down know it isn’t a good time for my family or that it will be the cherry on top that spills my cup over. This stinkin cycle has tripped me up all my life. I am writing about it actually and hope that writing will help me more aware and accountable! I love this whole post. I think it is good you are sensitive and I am that way with others things too, but when people make snide comments about it I try and take it to God and not let it hurt my feelings, otherwise that can easily get rooted down and cause me to become bitter or resentful…and that isn’t good either. He is so patient with us. I am sharing your quote today about progression. LOVE THAT!
Your #FreshMarketFriday neighbor
Thanks Meg! I’m SO thankful He’s patient with us and loves us no matter what. Glad you loved the quote! Blessings to you.
Oh my. Such vulnerability displayed. Thank you for such honesty and transparency. I often read of others’ struggles with sin, but they are very vague. No, a spotlight doesn’t need to be put on every sin each has committed, but sometimes…maybe it’s me personally… I need to hear a specific sin named. Why? So that I can know I am not alone in my struggles. I spend a lot of time lately in tears….of gratitude because of how God has restored and redeemed me.
Whoops, almost started writing a novella as I began sharing my testimony! Being short of words is something I’ve never been accused of 🙂 Let me just say that I, too, am far from perfect, but oh, the joy and gladness is abundant as Jesus shows Himself faithful over and over again to keep me from going down the same old paths. You know, I feel the need to share this…just yesterday Satan attempted to draw me down the path of regret and shame over all that I did, and didn’t do, when my young adult children were little. He’s done this before and I’ve travelled that ugly path going over my sins (that have been confessed, repented of, and washed away). The ‘trips’ have gotten shorter over the years, but just yesterday, I didn’t even take a step. I felt so strongly that Jesus had me by the hand and we were walking forward. I stopped and looked back at my past (you know, at the invitation of the Enemy), but I felt a determined tug on my hand as He made me face forward again. And once again the tears flowed because He didn’t let me wallow. He allowed me a glimpse to see where I’d been and what He’d saved me from and cleansed me of, but there was no lingering, but a reminder that my LIFE is before me and He continues to give me opportunities to speak Life and Truth into my children’s lives, now. (among other things He’s done and is doing!) Such freedom! Such progress! because I’ve allowed Him to work in me… 🙂
Sorry for the long post. Thanks for letting me share. And thank you for being honest and transparent.
p.s. popped over here from counting my blessings 🙂
I agree Carolyn, it helps to know we’re not alone in our struggles. Praise the Lord for progress and freedom found in Christ. I really appreciate your encouragement as well. Blessings!
Hi Laura! Such great reflections on this passage in James, which I love. We all have our “stuff” that we have to constantly give to the Lord–mine is expressing anger towards my kids and raising my voice. Thanks so much for your vulnerability on this. Praise be to God for his mercies that are new every morning!
So glad we can be honest with each other and bring our struggles out into the light where we can battle them together. Thanks for your encouragement!
This is encouraging, Laura. Thank you for sharing on LMM.
Thanks Leah! Blessings.
I love those prayers, Laura! I have often prayed similar prayers – “make my mind repel from … make my lips cringe in disgust for … make my heart break with … make my mind be drawn to, or repelled from …” It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that prayers like that even occurred to me. But when they did, wow! I pray them for myself, and often for my children and for the prayer requests of others. Thank you for this hope-filled reminder to keep watch over those sins that want nothing more than to creep back into our lives! I’m so glad to have you at #MomentsofHope!!!
Blessings and smiles,
I have to admit I had put God in a box for so many years and thought I had to pray a certain kind of prayer. Why? He’s limitless and our prayers to Him can be the same way. So glad to have joined you at #MomentsofHope