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How do you view love? Do you imagine a prince riding up on a white horse and saving you? It’s such a pretty picture but it’s also a fairytale.
Now I’m not against a good fairytale but it’s so important to distinguish between reality and fantasy.
It seems to me we are doing a great disservice in making marriage seem like one big fairytale. Somehow believing every day will be sunshine and roses. Have we become so enthralled in creating the perfect wedding we forget the marriage is where our focus needs to be?
So many of our youth are growing up thinking love is just a feeling. That it comes and goes as easily as changing a hairstyle. Our throw-away society has trickled down into our marriages and families.
[Tweet “When the going gets tough, and it will, we have to realize love is so much more than just a feeling.”]
Love is a choice. Love is an action.
Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. 1 John 3:18 (NLT)
Even in those moments where we’re not “feeling” it doesn’t mean love isn’t there. It means we have to hang on to what is true and not just an emotion.
How is it possible for our weak human flesh to ever love the way God intended? It’s only possible through the power of the Holy Spirit in us.
We love each other because He loved us first. 1 John 4:19
We need to grab hold of how deeply God loves us first so we can then turn around and love deeply as well. I find the best way to do this is to thank God daily for how much He loves me. It’s amazing what an attitude of gratitude will do to shift our thinking.
Matthew Henry’s commentary says it like this – “The divine love stamped love upon our souls; may the Lord still and further direct our hearts into the love of God!”
What is love?
Love is patient and kind.
Okay, I know what you’re thinking, easier said than done. I agree! Patience doesn’t come naturally for me and as such kindness can go out the window with it. But, God clearly says this is exactly what love is. So when I’m feeling my fuse getting short I whisper a quick prayer to God. It’s rarely fancy – just an honest plea to help me show patience and kindness even if I’m not feeling it.
Love isn’t rude, arrogant or insists on it’s own way.
Do you have the need to always be right in a disagreement? Some things are worth standing up for, no doubt. My grandma told me early in my marriage, “If it won’t matter in 5 years, let it go. If it will hash it out.” But we can do it without being rude or arrogant. I believe when we always keep love in the front seat of our marriages we can look at both sides through the lens of love.
Love is not irritable or resentful.
How many of us would raise our hands if asked if we’ve ever held a grudge against someone we love? Right there with you. In the past I struggled so much with this and could be very resentful over every offense. So hard on a marriage! It’s so important to ask God for help in releasing past offenses and letting go of irritability and resentment.
Love rejoices with truth!
Love takes no pleasure in hurting others. So often when we’re hurt by those we love, even if inadvertently, our natural reaction is to hurt back. It’s only fair right? Wounding those we love as a way of revenge only perpetuates the cycle. At some point we must choose to stop it. Love delights in the well being of others!
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7
[Tweet “All relationships require time & energy but when we allow God to take the lead love is possible.”]
Our marriages are worth fighting for. Our families are worth fighting for. Love is worth fighting for!
I’m sharing this post with several other blogger’s at these Faith Linkups. I encourage you to check them out. If this post resonates with you and feel it would help others please feel free to share. Easy to share buttons below. ~Laura~
Love is worth fighting for–so right. Relationships don’t always go smoothly. I love the verse about love covering a multitude of sins. God’s love covers my sin and I hope I remember to return the gift when those unlovely moments pop up.
I love that verse too Ginger. I pray I can give the same gift as well. Thanks for joining me here!
Great thoughts Laura! I love your grandma’s advice…”if it won’t matter in 5 years.” Good to remember in any relationship!
She always had some great advice! I agree, it works for any relationship.
Amen, girl. It is not always easy, and does not always feel good at all!
God is so faithful to guide us through, and we can learn true love by following Him.
Happy Tuesday, from the God-sized Dreams link up!
Hi Megs, thanks for joining the conversation. So grateful Jesus has shown us what loves truly looks like as well. Praying we can all follow His lead more and more.
Laura, This is such a good post. Your reminder to hang onto the truth instead of our feelings is such a good one. Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks Leslie! I appreciate your encouragement so much. Blessings to you!
I love what your grandma told you! If we’ll do that, it will eliminate a lot of stress from needless arguments.
She was a wise woman! So blessed by her words of wisdom. Blessings to you!
I’m a fairy-tale fan – because I often think they are stories of how God saves – but you are so right. Happily ever after takes work, forgiveness, letting go of what won’t matter in 5 years. So many times, love is a choice – because we might not “feel it” right at that moment. You’ve given us such good reminders and encouragement!
I love the happily ever after too! I’m so grateful to those who showed me early in life that those require work. Blessed by your words today. Thanks!
Yes! I have seen so many marriages destroyed by the misunderstanding of what love truly is and what marriage is all about. So very sad because true love is so much better than anything they attempt to convey in fairy tales.
I agree it’s so sad and avoidable. Praying for the truth to be taught to our future generations. Thanks for joining in the conversation today!
“When the going gets tough, and it will, we have to realize love is so much more than just a feeling.” Amen, amen, amen, sister! Being with my man for eight years has really driven this point home. It’s an honor to love him, but it’s also a choice … and an act of worship. We worship and honor God when we love others with our whole hearts (even when we don’t want to!) Great post!
Thanks Lauren! My hubby and I have been married for 24 years and I couldn’t agree more, loving each other is truly a way to honor God. I have said in the past even when we’re not particularly liking each other we still love each other. Blessings to you today!
I love how you broke down the wisdom of 1 Corinthians 13 into some practical advice. Your grandma’s advice that if it won’t matter in 5 years it isn’t worth fighting for is especially brilliant! Super helpful! Thank you!
Grandma was a super wise woman! She led a very tough life and never let it make her bitter. Miss her! Thank you for the encouragement. Blessings to you.
Yes. May we always remember this truth you share: “Love is worth fighting for!” There are times we would like to just give up or give in, but love is worth our energy. Thanks for sharing.
It really is worth fighting for and I pray we can all remember it. Blessings to you Lisa.
Love your love encouragement, Laura. I agree – love is so much more than just a feeling, and quite often it is so much a choice. Thanks for sharing your insight and wisdom from God’s word. Glad to be your link-up neighbor in a few spots today.
Thanks for you encouragement Tiffany. Blessings!