In a recent post we talked about how sports are great for helping us learn how to deal with winning as well as losing and doing both with dignity.
Wow, God’s timing (or maybe it was His sense of humor) is amazing. It was less than an hour after I finished that piece that I got a pretty good kick to the gut. My son didn’t get the full ride scholarship we’d been claiming in prayer for him.
I had claimed every scripture I could find on our authority in Christ. My son and I asked the Lord if this was the right school for him. We felt the Holy Spirit leading him there.
So why did he not get the scholarship? I wish I knew. Weren’t expecting that, huh? I really don’t know. I’m still wrestling with the answer. I wish I could say I handled the loss with as much dignity as my son did but it took me a little bit to get back to that point. My son actually handled it SO much better than I did. He kept reminding me that this was the direction he felt led and it would all work out.
The mama worry started to creep in big time though. I wanted to figure out a way to force the pieces of the puzzle together. Even though I couldn’t see all of the puzzle.
My mind was swirling with the fact that my son had decided on a private, Christian school that is very expensive. How could we possibly make it all happen?
Wow! I can’t believe I was right back in that very familiar pit of worry. That slimy, nasty pit had become like a second home for me as my boys grew into men. The sickening feeling in my stomach and the never ending swirling in my head were all too familiar.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
Leaning on my ways is what led me back to that pit. I wish I could say I fought the slide down a little harder but unfortunately I just jumped right in with both feet! The brokenness of my understanding of God’s ways caused me to fall yet again.
Thankfully the Lord is making me much more sensitive to worry as I mature in my walk with Him. He’s helped me see the worry pit for what it truly is, separation from Him.
Reach up out of that nasty mire of the worry pit and grab a hold of God’s hand. He’s ready and willing to take our worries.
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:27 & 34 (NIV)
I know I can trust God with my son’s future. He’ll handle it. I’m not sure what His plan is when it comes to the finances for college, but I will trust Him with it. When the enemy creeps in and tries to stir up worry in me about my son’s future; I will remind him that God is in control.