Have you ever felt like you’re running in circles chasing after a goal or dream? You know the feeling, right? It’s like a hamster on wheel grabbing that next spoke and pushing harder and harder all the while not getting anywhere!
The vicious cycle of striving!
Earlier this month I was out running dogs and praying. I have 7 Border Collies so I spend a lot of time outside exercising them. They don’t talk much so I love to talk to God while they’re playing and running off some extra energy.
I’ve learned over the years there isn’t any point in trying to hide my feelings from God so there I was in the middle of the pasture, pouring my heart out to Him. My emotions were strung out and a mess from way too much striving over the last few months.
The last several months felt like one giant roller coaster and I was more than ready to be done with it all together!
So as my dogs tried to sniff every acre of our horse pasture I sat there in a puddle of tears telling God how tired of the hamster wheel I was! I kept telling God I would do the work and trust Him with the outcome. Yeah, I was getting good at saying it on repeat but there was a huge disconnect with it getting to my heart.
Not sure how or why I got to the next statement but it will stick out for me forever I pray. It wasn’t anything fancy but for some reason it finally connected with my heart. I said through tears, “Lord, I surrender. All my plans, all my goals, even my will, I surrender to You. Whatever You want me to do I’m in!”
Now I know I’ve prayed similar words before but I’ve struggled over the years to utter the word “surrender” when it comes to my plans, goals and my own will. Thinking somehow that would remove my free will and ability to go after what I want out of life.
Oh don’t you love the way God works though! I barely got the words out of my mouth and God gave me a revelation. We are already victorious, we don’t have to keep striving for it!! I know, I know, you probably already know this. Shoot I’d heard it the whole time growing up as well.
No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. Romans 8:37 (NLT)
But until that moment I was seeing victory as “winning” at whatever I was striving at right then. I mean doesn’t it make sense? Victory = winning right?
But right in that moment God gave a little snapshot visual of a racehorse standing in the winners circle. I’d been on the track running in circles scratching and clawing trying to gain entry into that coveted circle. Right then God made it very clear that I was already IN the winners circle. Victory was already mine because of Christ.
Then because God is SO good He kept giving me more snippets throughout the next week to fully seal this into my heart.
A quote from Monique McLean’s “21 Days of Prayer for Your Business” needs to be tattooed across my forehead as a reminder. “He drops things right in front of us when we stop striving and start surrendering.” Boom, mic drop!!
Yep, that’s exactly how I’ve felt all week. I’m still working but my heart feels freer. For the first time in a long time I truly feel like the outcome isn’t what determines the success.
Then I just happened to run across an email with a blog post yesterday at the perfect time too. Okay, God I see You working in this!!
Holley Gerth shared an amazing post about how “success isn’t about the outcome but the obedience.” In it she shares Proverbs 16:3 – “Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.” (NLT)
I love to look at different translations so I went through several and love how the New King James Versions says it. “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” Then as I was digging through a reference guide I discovered the Hebrew word for “commit” is “roll onto”.
How cool is that? Roll onto the Lord your works and your thoughts will be established. Head and heart finally connected!
Here you go Lord, I surrender, I’m rolling my concerns over to You and trusting You to work this out in my head and heart. No matter the outcome victory is already mine. You bought and paid for it Lord and I receive it. Thank you for helping me to operate from that place of victory instead of striving to gain it. I love You more than any goal or plan. To You be all the glory!! In Jesus name, amen.